7人英语搞笑话剧剧本锦集三篇
【www.jxtldy.com--笑话】
剧本主要是由台词和舞台指示组成的,是戏剧艺术创作的文本基础,编导与演员演出的依据。与剧本类似的词汇还包括脚本、剧作等等。它是以代言体方式为主,表现故事情节的文学样式。下面是小编为大家整理的7人英语搞笑话剧剧本锦集三篇,欢迎大家借鉴与参考,希望对大家有所帮助。
7人英语搞笑话剧剧本1
Part One :新守株待兔第一幕:农夫与兔子A相遇
出场顺序与场景描述:
大树、松鼠开幕前已上场,大树站在台上,旁边趴着小松鼠。农夫上场前,大树可以变动造型。农夫先上场,独白;然后,大树独白。兔子A大树独白后上场,独白。
Farmer(农夫):I’m a farmer.(稍停顿)[走两步]A cool farmer.(掏出墨镜戴上)[冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,继续保持冷酷]
Eh...When I was yong,I studied in Mynle English School. So, I’m rich now![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look!This is Iphone 10!This is my watch! This is my MP3!These are my shoes——(夸张低沉地)ADIDAS! This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh, sorry.[扔掉苹果]Here it is![从怀里掏出痒痒挠] Do you know what’s this?痒痒挠?No no no~~ You are out!!It’s my modern—hoe~!![看下表] It is time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作]
Tree A(树A):I’m a tree!
Tree B(树B):I’m a tree, too.
Tree A(树A):I can do many things!
Tree B(树B):I can do many things, too.
Tree A(树A):I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,哼哼哈西!!!]
Tree B(树B):I can sing,too[做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,哼哼哈西!!!]
Tree A(树A):I can dance![跳四小天鹅]
Tree B(树B):I can dance,too[跳四小天鹅]
[两棵树一直站在原地独白]
Squirrel(松鼠):I am a squirrel. I am the friend of trees.[转一圈,爬在树旁,松鼠第一幕一直在树旁,随树而动]
Rabbit A (兔子A):OK,I’m a rabbit. Now I’m just walking around here.
[农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子]
Farm(农夫):(惊喜地)Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it![偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
[农夫跟在兔子后面。两个人走啊走。兔子突然回头。农夫假装看手表。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装看天气。两人继续走。兔子回头。农夫假装打手机。两人继续走,兔子回头。这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子。]
Squirrel(松鼠):[站在树旁焦虑的说]Be careful!
Rabbit A(兔子A):Wahhhh~!(吓一跳)What do you want?
Farmer(农夫):Huh…!I will kill U for lunch!
Rabbit A(兔子A): Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前]
Farmer(农夫):Where~ are you going? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”(配音)。兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到。树做出受伤中弹状。农夫又开枪,同上。农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪。兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来。树继续痛苦中弹状。]
Rabbit A(兔子A) [自我陶醉中,边跳舞边说]You can"t hurt me! You can"t hurt me!
TreeA&B(树A&B):[痛苦万分地齐声说]But…you…Hurt us!….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞。农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它。兔子猛然抬头发现]
Farmer(农夫):Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子,开枪,没声音,看看枪,示意没子弹了。兔子见状,非常兴奋地大笑起来]
Rabbit A(兔子A):Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now![兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰。突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![倒地]
Squirrel(松鼠):Oops!It’s dangerous here .I need to go now !(蹑手蹑脚的离场...)
Farmer(农夫):OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you !!! [把兔子绑到树上。打呵欠]tired! I’ll eat you after sleeping.[倒地睡觉](打鼾的声音)
Part two:新守株待兔第二幕:兔子A求助兔子B
出场顺序:
小鸟在听到农夫鼾声后出场,呼唤兔子A,兔子B在接到电话后出场。
Bird(小鸟):[唤醒兔子A] Wake up. Wake up. Are you OK? What’s wrong with you ?
Rabbit A(兔子A):[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened? I...
Tree A(树A):[指着农夫]He has caught you and wants to eat you.
Tree B(树B):[做出怜惜状]Poor,Rabbit!
Rabbit A(兔子A):What?! I must leave! But how ?
Bird(小鸟):Let me help you. [解开绳子]Good luck,Rabbit![飞走退场]
Rabbit A(兔子A):[东张西望,看到农夫的手机]I phone 10! Wow,how cool![放回原处。突然想起来]I phone! Maybe I can call some one to help me![拿起手机,做出打电话的样子,声音低微,怕吵醒农夫] (配音:拨电话) Hello?
Rabbit B(兔子B):Hello! This is Max.
Rabbit A(兔子A):Hey Max.
Rabbit B(兔子B):Oh,hey Richard!
Rabbit A(兔子A):How are you?
Rabbit B(兔子B):Fine,thank you. And U?
Rabbit A(兔子A):I’m fine too! How is your mom?
Rabbit B(兔子B):She is fine, thank you. And your mom?
Rabbit A(兔子A):She is fine, too! How is your daddy?
Rabbit B(兔子B):He’s fine, thank you! And your daddy?
Rabbit A(兔子A):He’s fine , too! How…
Rabbit B(兔子B):[打断兔子A的话]Eh..eh..eh~wait. But why do you call me? If you want borrow money?!…NO WAY!!! [声音发大]
Rabbit A(兔子A):No no no! I’m in danger now! Come and help me!!!
Rabbit B(兔子B):But where are you?
Rabbit A(兔子A):I’m under a tree!
Rabbit B(兔子B):[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子A面前,两个人还没发现,兔子B极继续往前走]What can you see around you?
Rabbit A(兔子A):I see a rabbit …that looks exactly like you!
Rabbit B(兔子B):A rabbit…like me… OK!I’ll find you. Just a second! Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开退场]
[兔子A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,然后又很自觉地要把自己绑回了树上]
Part three:新守株待兔第三幕:农夫守株待兔A兔子B
出场顺序:
兔子A、树、农夫,兔子A独白后,兔子B上场。
Rabbit A(兔子A):Haha! My friend will come and save me~!yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,倒地](虚弱地)Oh!Hurt! Call 110~Or 119?112?...Oh,forget it! I’m dying![作喉咙卡住声音,死去]
[兔子B上。]兔子B:I’m also a rabbit!I’m smart! I’m lovely! And I’m (作风情万种)handsome! (自我陶醉)[转头看自己右手边,却发现兔子A倒在地上]Oh,my!Richard![伏在兔子A身上](哭声)I’m so sorry!I’m too late!5555555~~~~~~Richard![痛苦而夸张地转身敲打树B]
TreeB(树B):(齐声说)Oh!Oh,don’t hit me.!Don’t hit me! Oh![树B朝地上倒,压倒兔子B]
Rabbit B(兔子B):What? NO..NO!~~...I…can’t….breathe ……(作死了的声音)
Farmer(农夫):[农夫一觉醒来。看见两只兔子] En..?Two rabbits! I remember I have caught just one?!Oh, thank god! How lucky I am![兴奋地一手提一只兔子,哼着小曲下场]
7人英语搞笑话剧剧本2
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’smother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’smother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybodysaysthati’mhenpecked,butinfact,i’mastrongtiger,(小声)whilemy
wifeiswusong.
译:人人都说我怕老婆,实际上我是老虎,(小声)我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’mnotafraidofyou!
译:我才不怕你呢!
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then,i’mafraidofwhom!mywifelunchiisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.sheisbraverthanme,smarterthanmeandstrongerthanme.allthisidonotcare.ionlywantshetobetenderthanme.butsheisnot!havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!
译:谁怕谁啊!在邻里中,我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些,但是她却不懂温柔!有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊!
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
mygod!whocanhelpme?(下)
译:我的天!谁来救救我啊?
act1第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作偷听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):ican!
(对门内)lunch!lunch!whereareyou?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’mhere!what’sup,mum?
jm:ihavetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmotherinlaw”.
l:ok.mymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,what’sup?
jm:sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:neverinterruptme!
l:neverinterruptme!sinceimarriedyourson,thatterriblejohnny,ihavebeenworkinghardall
daylong,cookingandwashing.ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchicken
and……
jm:butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,youwantagrandson,don’tyou?(开始解围裙)goandaskyourson.i’mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum,i’mback!
lm:youareback?why?whathappened?
l:iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see!ihavealreadytoldyou!whenyouinsistedon
marryingthatterriblejohnny,itoldyouthatheisuglytupidandpoor,butyoudidnotlisten
tome.lookatyourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:neverinterruptme!
l:mum,i’mnotinterruptingyou.ijustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightok?and
i’llmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.
lm(大喜):nicegirl!justnow,imetthemayor’ssoninthemarket.hesaid:“ifyourdaughter
haven’tbeenmarried,ireallyreallywanttomarryher!”nowyouarefreeagain,i’llgo
andtellhim.(下)
l(惊愕):what?themayor’sson?themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(手中的锅
铲掉在地上)whatasillythingihavedone!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch!lunch!wherearemysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)heretheyare!(闻一下)er!howsmelly!theyarestilldirty!
(突然想起)lunchhasgone!ihavetowashthemmyself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’msohungry!butthere’snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)thisiswhatlunchalwayswears!imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!now
shehasgone.ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.
jm(上):where’smybreakfast?where’slunch?hasn’tshegotupyet?
j:mum,can’tyouremember?lunchhasgone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well,totellyouthetruthjohnny,asonwithoutawifeissuseless.lunchisanice
girl,goandtakeherback!
j(立正敬礼):yesmadam!
act4
(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:andiplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---(欲踩石头,但踩到了a的脚)
ab&c:giveusallyourmoney!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币):is1maoenough?
(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:whatbadluck!thisguyisbroken!
b:ifwecannotrobanymoneytoday,wewillhavenotthingtoeattonight!
c:iheardthatthemayor’ssonisgoingtomarrymissliulanzhinextmonth.wecangoand
robthewedding!
a&b:goodidea!
j(惊讶):what?what?lunchisgoingtogetmarried?it’simpossible!
ab&c:why?aprettygirlandarichman,whatagoodcouple!
j:butlunchismywife!wehaven’tgotdivorcedyet!
(突然有了主意)i’vegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,don’tyou?i’llgo
withyou.youtakethemoneyanditakethebride.
b:haveyougotanyexperience?
j:no.buti’vegotthis!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书$1,000,000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期.ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abc&j:heyyou!stopandlistentous!
a:theroadisbuiltbyme!
b:andiplantedonetree.
c:ifyouwanttogobythisstreet---
j:giveusallyourmoney!
(l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来.j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):howdareyoubeatmywife!(挥拳向ms冲去)
(j与ms混战,jm上,以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l,关切地问):honey,howareyou?
l(哭状):ihurtalot!
j:don’tcrybaby.i’llgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)
l(起身去追):waitforme!(跑下)
7人英语搞笑话剧剧本3
甲:哈罗哈啰,(挥手)哈啰everybody.今天呢,我给大家说段相声,说说英语!(停一下,用手放在耳朵边作听的姿势)哦,这位奶奶问我怎么一个人说?当然是two啦,two啦。不过,我那搭档,从来就没准时过……您瞧,咱们说好9点钟演出的,这都8点60分了还没见他鬼影。
乙:I’mcoming,(动作夸张),Hi!说什么那?刚才我怎么听到什么two,猫呀,狗呀。
甲:嘘,什么猫,狗,你不要侮辱我的IQ,这是英语,English!
乙:English?(表示惊讶的表情)你怎么喜欢学英语了?太阳从北方升起哦!
甲:唉,我们老师说了!中-国加入WTO了,北京举办奥运成功了,外国人喜欢来中-国兜风了,我们学校连续三年都上湛江二中了!
乙:呀,呀,挺顺那.不过你好像发疯了!但话又说回来了,学好英语才能考上湛江二中啊。
甲:certainly啦。
乙:那你英语现在学得怎么样了?
甲:小case啦(骄傲状态),我们英语老师说学好英语主要是听、说、读、写。但其中最重要的是---说speak。
乙:是吗?那你说给大伙听听!
甲:你这人什么意思?
乙:怎么了?
甲:老师说我发音不好,你不是存心出我洋相吗?
乙:您误会了,我绝对不是那意思!
甲:那你什小品剧本大全么意思?我问你那!
乙:没关系,大家交流交流嘛!
甲:我不愿意!
乙:为什么?
甲:都没人给我鼓掌啊!掌声哪里?
。。。。
乙:大家掌声这么热烈,你来教教我英语怎么样?
甲:好,学英语第一要从25个字母学起
乙:25个字母啊?
甲:不,26个字母。好好听着吧!
乙:是
甲:注意我这个发音啊
乙:好
甲:A、B,对不
乙:对
A:A、B、C(塞)---DEnanfujiaicizekenanonanmn那
乙:这么读呀,好像是A、B、C、D、E(正确读音)
甲:好啦,好啦。算你对啦。第二学英语是要学会读单词
乙:单词?好,那来英语怎么说?
甲:来就是(卡博)come(重复一遍)
乙:(卡博)come,去呢?
甲:去是go,去是(狗)go
乙:go
甲:对,点头是yes,摇头是no,谢谢你说三克游。
乙:哇,verygood(咬)伸出大拇指做动作
甲:什么good(咬),你的发音怎么这么不标准呢?
乙:那应该怎么说?
甲:你把舌头放在第三颗门牙上,这样。verygood(鼓滴)
乙:啊?good(鼓滴),good(鼓滴)
甲:我连起来给你说说
乙:好啊
甲:来是come,去是go,点头yes,摇头no,见面时候说hello.Hello,hello,,lo,lo….
甲乙:来是come,去是go,点头就yes,摇头no,见面时候说hello.Hello,hello,hello,lo,lo….
甲:学英语还有就是句子。
乙:哦句子,交流的。
甲:比如说你见面的时候说Goodmorning.鼓捣毛宁"
乙:好,我想问你,我有一个朋友生日了,他来自UFO的?。。。
甲:(打断)UFO?你朋友是来自飞碟的吗?(惊讶)
乙:不是UFO,是USA的
甲:USA美国的,生日说Happybirthday!
乙:Happybirthday.生日快乐!
甲:今天你听了我讲的英语,感觉怎么样?
乙:verygood(鼓滴)
甲:真是知己呀,(热情握手)
乙:那你如何向我说感谢呢?
甲:三克油(口音),Thankyouverymuch.(快速说出)
乙:你讲得太快了,能不能放慢点?
甲:你不知道呀,英国话是这么快的,慢就不好听了。
三克油(口音),Thankyouverymuch.(快速说出)
乙:这样呀Thankyouverymuch.
甲:最后是通过唱英文歌来学习英语。
乙:唱歌呀,我最喜欢了。
甲:我给你唱首英文歌,怎么样?
乙:OK
甲:。。。。。都没伴奏呀
乙:我给你伴奏
甲:mama,doyouremember/妈妈你可曾记得
theoldstrawhatyougavetome/你送给我那草帽…(哭起来。。。)
乙:你哭什么哭呀!来小品剧本网,咱们一起来唱。
甲:好的。ABCDEFG,HIJDLMN,我在马路边捡到一分钱,看到警察叔叔说你好,Hello,你好。Hello.
Goodmorningtoyou.Goodmorningtoyou.Goodmorning,teacher,Goodmorningtoyou
乙:verygood.真爽。原来英语是这么有趣啊,看来我是要好好学习英语了。
甲:是呀,学好英语是重要的了。为了我们美好前途,那我们一起studyhard!
乙:好,comeon!加油!,studyhard!(举手表示决心)
甲:新的一年到了,此刻我向在座的学校领导、老师,同学们说声:
乙:(打断)Happybirthday!
合:(互相推一下)HappyNewYear!Byebye(挥手做鬼脸)最后鞠躬说Thankyou!Thankyouverymuch!
7人简短爆笑剧本英语 英语幽默短剧剧本7人
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